I will die if light touches me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
