True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
