Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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