Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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