and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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