When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
