We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
