I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
