so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
