ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
