No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
