So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
