he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
