you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
