If that was your dad, he is hot
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
