I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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