haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I will pee on everything he values.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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