Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
