My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize