and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
