I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
