i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
