I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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