i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
