Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
