I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
