Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
