I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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