but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
