U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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