I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
