this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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