Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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