I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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