she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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