i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
