I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
