so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's never too late to be topless.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
