Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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