just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
