ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize