Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
