i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
