Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
