I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
