I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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