Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
