Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
