I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
