WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
