She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I could fuck to npr.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
