I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
