i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
