There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
