Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
