im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
