pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
