gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
