I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
